Deciding What’s Right For You in Your Wellness Journey

There is a lot of advice about wellness available to us. When you’re looking for suggestions on topics about improving health and fitness, there is no shortage of information. 

In addition to what you find in your own research, certainly your friends and family have ideas for what’s best for you, too. 

But at the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide your best course of action to reach your goals. Because what’s right for someone else may not be right for you. 

It’s always good to remember that many different paths can lead to the same destination. In addition, there’s rarely only one right answer when it comes to how to approach your health journey. 

An easy example: how to prepare for a marathon. While there are some tried and true guidelines to get you ready to run 26.2 miles, there is no one proven way for every single person. Furthermore, that path changes over time. 

So whether we’re talking about weight loss, or a nutrition plan, or improving fitness, or running marathons, the exact route to the destination will be different for each person. And there is power in figuring out the right path for you. 

On Taking Other People’s Advice When It Comes to Your Wellness

First up, I want to be clear that we’re not talking about medical advice. We’re not getting into realms of serious medical issues. Albeit, second opinions, being your own best advocate, and doing your own research are worthy pursuits. 

The wellness we’re considering here has to do with lifestyle changes that help improve your physical, mental, and emotional health. Maybe it’s reducing or cutting out alcohol. increasing your exercise, reducing stress, or eating a more nutritious diet. Maybe it’s a big physical goal like running a marathon or going on a multi-day bike tour. 

Whatever changes you may need or want, chances are, other people will have their opinions about what you should do. It’s great to listen and learn, but there’s no reason you should feel obligated to take their advice. If it doesn’t feel right for you, you can say thank you and move on. 

This is even true when you’re working with a professional like a coach, therapist, or personal trainer. It is very important to speak up about what does and doesn’t work for you. That helps the person who’s working with you learn what will work best to get you where you want to be. Your input matters.

Even if the other person is right, trying things your way and learning is very useful and powerful. Which leads to the next topic. 

Your Journey, Your Process

So much of going through a wellness journey is a learning process. You will make mistakes. You will have missteps. As has been stated: there is no perfect way of getting from here to there. And you are human: you will very likely make a few bad choices along the way. 

Learn from the journey. Mistakes, failures, missteps–these are incredibly valuable opportunities for growth and discovery. That lived experience goes deep. Hearing someone tell you that something will be a mistake has much less of an impact than actually living that mistake. Some very big Aha! moments come out of learning from your errors. 

Be careful here, too, though. When your choice doesn't turn out to be the best, you might be tempted to beat yourself up, or get defensive, or totally give up. It’s tough to admit when you’re wrong or that you've failed. It's even worse when there’s someone chiming in with “I told you so”–and they're right. Learning to fail or make mistakes well is a wonderful skill all on its own. It can be challenging to put into practice, but it pays off mightily. 

On the flipside, of course, it’s really empowering to take control of your own journey and have things turn out well. It’s wonderful if you have people in your life who you can lean on for guidance. But developing your own voice in the process, learning self-reliance is very valuable. No one else knows what’s best for you all the time and discovering the best choices for yourself is empowering.

Be Willing to Change Your Mind

Extending from the above idea of learning from your mistakes is the great skill of being willing to change your mind. Maybe your friend was right. Maybe they did tell you so and you were wrong. It’s completely fine to change your mind about your approach to your journey.

It’s also fine to change what your ultimate goal is. Going back to the marathon example: maybe you get into the training, and you don’t like it. But a 10k sounds like a lot of fun. Great! Go do the 10k. Or, if your goal is dropping a few pounds and your initial goal was 10lbs, but you’ve lost 7 and feel good. Great! No need to go further.

The other consideration when it comes to changing your mind is recognizing that your body, mind, and emotional state change. Over time, the path that you’ve been on to improve your health and wellness won’t work the same way. Your nutrition needs change, your fitness needs change, and your emotional and psychological needs change. Being mindful that what worked yesterday may not work today is important. You'll need to change your mind about what's right for you because it won't always stay the same.

Everything In It’s Time

There is also the reality that you know you want to make some changes; your friends and family are actually right about their suggestions or advise; and still, it’s not happening–because it’s not the right time.

We all learn and grow at our own pace, and sometimes we just aren’t ready to make changes we need to make, or we don’t have the capacity right now. 

If you’re just not ready, consider what could get you there. Let’s say you know you’re in a job that isn’t working for you. You see it. Your partner sees it. Your friends and family all agree: quit! But, you’re not ready. 

So instead of quitting today, decide what steps will help you move in that direction. Maybe you need to get your resume in order. Maybe you need to do some research into who’s hiring and for what. Do you need to take some classes to get up to speed on new technology and changes in your industry? 

If today’s not the day to make the change you ultimately want to make, there are steps you can implement that will move you in the right direction. 

Sometimes now isn’t the time because you have too many things on your plate already. Parents with young children know this well. Yes, it’d be great to meditate, get to the gym, go for the hike, and get enough sleep. 

But you have other more pressing priorities. Trying to do all those things you know would be good for you is actually only adding to your stress and making you feel like you’re constantly behind and failing yourself. 

Instead of trying to do everything you know would benefit you, pick what is realistic. Choose a couple small things that feel doable. Maybe you can’t get to the gym for an hour 3 times a week, but you could take 15 minutes 5 times a week to do an at-home strength routine. Maybe you can't train for a marathon, but you could get out for a walk/jog with the stroller for 20 minutes as part of your daily routine. Maybe you can’t meditate for 30 minutes, but you could swing 5 minutes. 

Additionally, you also know your life will change. Your kids will become more self-sufficient. Your project will wrap up. The event you’re planning will happen. Whatever is keeping you away from being able to focus on wellness changes you’d like make or know you should make will not be there forever. Consider thinking long term. Maybe now isn’t the time but some point in the foreseeable future will be. Recognize the time of life you're in, do what you can now, and plan a time to revisit your bigger wellness goals.

When the Shoe Is on the Other Foot

A final word here: as much as your wellness journey is your wellness journey, everyone else’s wellness journey is their wellness journey, too. 

A wonderful gift you can give others is to be there for them but also to give them space to learn what works best for them. I’m not sure there’s anyone who likes to be told what to do. And as tempting as it might be, no one likes to hear “I told you so”–even when you told them so, and you were right.

Besides, it's often most powerful to lead is by example.